Shakespeare translated for bogans

February 12, 2012 at 9:45 pm Leave a comment

The lady doth protest too much, methinks

Translation: I reckon that mole complains a lot

 

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?

Translation: Rommo where the bloody hell are ya?

 

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun

Translation: I’m telling ya mate, this bird Julz is a 10

 

True is it that we have seen better days

Translation: We’re fucked

 

For the rain it raineth every day

Translation: It’s been pissing down all week

 

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Translation: You’re hot

 

He hath eaten me out of house and home

Translation: My boy’s 28, still at home and eats like an All Black. He’s gotta go

 

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!

Translation: My kid is a spoilt little shit and he’s doing by head in

 

A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age.

Translation: Mate when I was younger I could go all night

 

A dish fit for the gods

Translation: Whaddaya call this love? Ice cream.

 

I like this place and willingly could waste my time in it

Translation: Castle Hill Tavern is bloody awesome

 

The miserable have no other medicine but only hope

Translation: So that’s why dole bludgers buy lotto tickets

 

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him

Translation: Oi fellas, don’t you reckon Tony Abbott’s a dickhead?

 

Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow

Translation: I’ll see ya tomorrow hey

 

For you and I are past our dancing days

Translation: It now takes me 3 days to get over a hangover

 

But love is blind, and lovers cannot see

Translation: I can’t understand what he sees in that mole

 

I cannot tell what the dickens his name is

Translation: What was that ranga bloke’s name again?

 

Do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe?

Translation: Stop fucking with me

 

A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!

Translation: I’d love a beer right now

 

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet

Translation: What the hell kind of nickname is Wanga?

 

To be, or not to be: that is the question

Translation: What the fuck should I do?

 

The king’s name is a tower of strength

Translation: Wally Lewis is a living legend

 

The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers

Translation: The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers

 

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

Translation: I love ya, everything’s going to work out fine, I love everyone, this pill’s fucking awesome

Reading Shakespeare makes you cultured and shit

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