We’re at the pub. What are we talking about?

Job Titles. Do They Really Mean Anything?

April 12, 2009 at 6:45 pm 1 comment

Adam Sandler in the Waterboy called himself an “Aquatic Distribution Engineer”.

Mark, a bloke I met in a pub in Edinburgh, cleans dishes at the same pub. His job title is “Hospitality Hygiene Officer”.

Even the guys that fix our computers in the office when we have download too much porn, err….I mean programs have the title:  “Global Systems Analyst”.

Global?

Analyst?

Officer?

Engineer?

What the?

My mate Jadey from Darwin is a door to door Tampon Machine saleswoman.

Yes, that’s right. She sells those machines that dispense those white fluffy cylindrical things for $2 that are good for practical jokes and unclogging drains.

Have a guess what her title is?

National Business Development Manager.

A joke I know. However, one word of advice. If you are ever having a beer with ol’e Jadey, don’t ever ask her what she does for a living.

For the next 2 hours, you’ll be bombarded with the intricacies of the door-to-door tampon-machine selling business.

However, it’s not “tampon-machine” selling to her.

On the contrary, she is a key stakeholder in the “Primary Plumbing Hygiene Treatment” industry.

Excuse me?

I thought you sell fanny-plugs for a living?

Say that and you’ll be walking home with a cheek that resembles a red Aboriginal hand painting. Believe me I know from experience.

And since when is a female reproductive organ known as a  ‘primary plumbing’ organ?

That will really shake-up the German pornographic script writers wouldn’t it.

“Agh vould larke to vlick your prumary pvlumbing awgun”

Entry filed under: 1. Tags: job titles.