We’re at the pub. What are we talking about?

The Six Types of Drunk Dancer

March 24, 2009 at 8:29 am 1 comment

Are we human, or are we dancer?

We played a gig at St Marys Leagues Club last Saturday night. (side note: you know you’ve made it in the music industry when you’ve played that club). St Marys is a western Sydney suburb, about 1 hour drive west of the city, 9935 miles from America. The Leagues Club is typical of a good standard Australian RSL/footy club with cheap beer, fast salmonella-free bistro and plenty of pokies.

Don’t get me wrong, it was actually a pretty good gig and the oldies there really loved us. Now, I’m not pretending to be an eastern-suburbs snob now that I’m living in Bondi, but it’s always good fun watching the oldies out in the western suburbs really rocking out to a good tune.

So, whilst on stage (we were on for a good 3 hours), I watched the dancers and segregated them into six groups based on their dancing styles. Who said men couldn’t multi task?

Sharon used this as an opportunity to rehearse for her "So You Think You Can Dance" audition

The Six Types of Drunk Dancer

The Handbag Dancer - Typically a younger, style-conscious, female. Found shuffling on the dance floor clutching her imitation-Gucci handbag with stiff, unmoving arms. Often also falls under the Non-Smiler category.

The Reality Show Wannabe – The glammed-up dancer that spent their weeknights practicing their disco moves in front of the mirror. Now that they have an audience, the Britney and Jennifer moves can break out.

Inappropriate Salsa Dancers – Couples busting out with salsa/tango moves to totally inappropriate music. Obviously had dance classes during the week and thought that this was a perfect opportunity to practice their moves. Unfortunately, Green Day’s ‘Welcome to Paradise’ is hardly ideal to gain confidence in Double Reverse Spins.

The Non-Smiler – These dancers bop around – pulling out the great moves, but with a serious “I have to appear cool by not smiling” look on their face. This unfortunately often translates to looking like they just found out their cat passed away from diabetes.

The Head Nodder – Typically blokes, the Head Nodder doesn’t have any other moves in their inventory but nodding their head out of time to the music. Classic stance is keeping their hands in pockets. Often there because of the close presence of HandBag Dancers.

Wannabe Black Dancers – Wannabe Black Dancers attempt the same pre-rehearsed hip-hop moves to every song. However, they have two problems. 1, They’re not black. 2, They can’t dance

Drunk sluts – Obviously out to get laid, the drunk sluts will rub against and dirty-dance with any guy that looks twice at them.

Entry filed under: Random. Tags: Drunk Dancers, Music.